I’m very, very tired of this town. It’s a mess and this mess helped drive me straight in to a nervous breakdown. Skin color means no more than eye color, folks. It’s not nearly as big of a deal as others would like to make it out to be. Nor is what church you attend or your detailed beliefs about God. People get their panties in a wad about some of the strangest things. Try watching the news sometime. There’s more important things to think about, like all the elderly folks that are dying of heat exhaustion.
I’m somewhat back on my feet. It is just going to take some time. I’m on some new medication and am undergoing counseling to try to undo the damage caused by a guy who tried hypnotizing me over the internet and the further damage caused by the cops, hospital, and a behavioral health clinic. I may have to be on SSI for a while as well. We shall see what happens. I would have been fine if the cops didn’t decide to play games with me.
As for those rude comments… I don’t really give a damn any more. Just know those comments aren’t going to get past my moderation.
This is my blog. There are no ads, no ulterior motives, no BS – just good composition therapy for my soul. If you don’t like it, don’t visit it. :P
I know my true story now. And it’s a secret.
I have been healed. There’s still work to be done but the worst is over with. I understand now what happened to me, and it was not demonic. It was a protection. God knew the challenges I was going to face in the real world, so he sent two little helpers with me to help me learn how to cope through sharing.
But now it’s time for me to learn how to share in the real world, and what secrets should be kept just that – secret. I can never reveal my true nature except to those that are trustworthy.
No child of God is ever denied rebirth. That is the most important lesson I can give anyone. You are never denied rebirth, ever. No matter what you’ve done or what others have done to you. He will make a way for you not only to survive, but thrive.
Thank you dear God for giving us life, and thank you dear Jesus for redeeming us and giving us salvation. We are born anew in your glorious light, and we understand now why we are here. You wanted us all to live. You gave us gifts with which to learn and grow even when others tried to rob us of these opportunities. We thank you dear Lord for giving us these gifts, for giving us life, and for leading us to the final place even when others tried to throw darkness in our midst. We humbly ask you dear Lord to continue to guide us in your light. Amen.
I started to actually send this to the intended addressee but I realized that if my words haven’t reached by now, they never will. However, this is a good letter… so I am going to share it here in hopes that it may touch someone that needs it.
You should know this. And yah, this is going to be a two page email. But this time, I am as “sane” as can be because I know the truth now.
I am praying that Abba sends one of his angels down to guard over your son and help lead him to the Light when he is old enough to understand the things he sees now are not who he is but who his father wants him to be.
I have given up on worldly systems providing any real justice. I don't really blame them for this lack of justice any more. Imperfect humans are not even remotely capable of carrying out any real justice.
Just know that right now what you are doing is exactly how I became multiple: “cult” programming techniques. A guy that claimed to be trained by Ellis Skolfield used this against me to further confuse my mind and attempted to gain my obedience to him so he could rip me off. Your son is going to end up having multiple personality disorder at this rate, if he hasn't split already. When a young child is exposed to horrors beyond their comprehension, one half of their personality leaves the scene to return later to help them cope and create new personalities to deal with the situations that arise. We are born IN to sin. By that I mean sin is a disease that we gain from our family belief systems. Our hearts may be pure but our minds wander and can be made prisoners by the beliefs our families and our society teaches us we “should” have.
That's why you will never create the antichrist in a human being. The psychological system that God built will not allow this. Not to mention the antichrist is a spirit of rebellion and self righteousness, not an actual person, and the antichrist is already here. Has been here for thousands of years.
In Jesus Christ's name, all demons in your household are rebuked and commanded to return to the place from which they came from. Christ, please shine down your light seven times brighter than day on this family and allow them to find the path to your salvation and grace. Amen.
You got to be ready to let go of them though yourself and say amen yourself for that prayer to work. I just laid the framework.
And if you get your girlfriend to message me with verbal abuse again I will report her for harassment, because this is between me and you, not me and her. I know you've brain washed her first of all and second of all I don't even know her; she's a stranger to me as much as I am a stranger to her. This is none of her business. It SHOULD be her business as that child's mother but she's evidently made that child all YOUR business. Her voice has no authority whatsoever here. In all seriousness, yours doesn't either. You can guess whose voice does so if you want to bitch, bitch at Him. You've done plenty of it in your lifetime as it is so a few more words shouldn't “hurt”.
I leave you in peace, Ex. I hope that you will be able to leave me in peace as well. But I can guess that you won't. So this will be the last time I ever check this email account, and it's getting deleted after I send off this email. If you have something to say you can send it to a different address.
Ah, one last thing I wanted to say. Thank you for destroying all my stuff. It really helped me to start learning about how much importance one should put on material possessions. God worked through you to HELP me when that was the last thing you probably wanted Him to do, LOL. Wow, it amazes me how awesome He is. Despite everything from the government to families to ex friends and lovers to actual churches distorting His message and presence, He still manages to find a way to get through to those who really seek Him.
He's calling you. One of these days you need to answer that call for real. And yah, it may take going “crazy” for a while to finally figure out which voice is His and follow it.
That’s my closure to this. I’m giving all my concerns about it to God, and also to an unknown audience that may learn from my journey, mistakes and all. It’s time that we all started making a stand for the children of this world. The government does a pretty bad job at looking out for them so yes it is up to us as it should be to protect these children to the best of our (legal) capabilities and help them to find Christ, the real protector/guardian of us all. We all are responsible for children, whether they are our biological children or not. It is the sacred duty of ALL of us to show children what God’s true light is like. When we fail to do this we rob them of salvation and rebirth, effectively taking on their blood to ourselves rather than allowing Christ’s blood to cleanse them of all sin (this means sins of the parents too, not just the child’s personal sins).
This child’s parents are doing what I know many people would not even dream of doing to a baby. They’re making sure that child’s first exposure to the world is that of murder and sociopathic behavior through the constant observation of horror movies. The father glorifies this behavior and the mother defends it. If you are a true Christian reading this, I ask of you to please pray for this child. His name is Jason, and yes, that name was intended to be the namesake of the fictional serial killer from Friday the 13th. Jason was born in the time of Sagittarius and is not yet one year old. For this child’s safety, I cannot give more information than that. Just pray and remind God of this post and He will know exactly which child these prayers are meant for. This child really needs as many prayers as he can get, especially since his name has been given in pursuit of Satan’s “glory”. There’s hope yet in that name though… it’s got 5 letters in it.
I’m going to end this with some book recommendations.
The Shining Man with Hurt Hands – Ellis Skolfield
The Bondage Breaker – Neil T. Anderson
Maybe one day I will finish the new posts on this site. But for now, I'm closing this information highway down. Too many vampires lurking. ;)
Well, today has been one very interesting day.
First and foremost, David has finally found work. The guy that ran the cab company here got out of the hospital and David was one of the first people he called on to drive for him.
I realized probably the best way to sell my products is going to be a period of giving away free samples with my phone number on the label. If people like them, they’ll call to buy more (that’s the theory anyways).
I looked so pretty today. :) I’m really digging the whole no/minimal makeup thing.
Brennan is learning new words every day. Like, we cannot even keep up with this kid any more. Every word he hears and understands to mean “this” or “that” he repeats and keeps repeating until it’s a part of his vocabulary. He’s quite sophisticated for a two year old and sometimes I wonder if he hasn’t got what they call “an old soul”.
My heart beats for that little guy. He is amazing. And I must say so is David for putting up with as much as he had but still being able to wrap his arms around me and kiss me and show he still loves me. Also for accepting that I have this disorder and attempting to understand not only the disorder itself but also attempting to get to know my other “selves” and helping them when they needed help. He made sure the littles were fed and well taken care of and made sure the alters all understood that he was on their side and no one else’s. He made some mistakes but he is human after all ;) and it’s not like those mistakes were unfixable. He has come a long way from the man he was when we got married, and I am proud of him. And yes, I know, I should say that more often, especially to his face. He needs to know someone is proud of him because his mother certainly lets him know loud and clear how worthless she thinks he is. *growls*
So much evil in this world! But we can stand strong and be made holy in God’s Light. :)
Hair combs are awesome for pulling your hair back out of your face in the summer. Unlike barrettes they tend to stay put in curly hair without snagging, and are so subtle that they will go with any outfit.